I have lots more that I already want to say, but today it seems that I needed more rest. My intention to update every Sunday will start next week, though I should have another post sometime in the next few days.

Thanks to those who are reading already, I would love to hear responses to the things that I share, whether in comments or in email.

Trust

Sometimes I get into weird funks in which I just feel blah. To the point of not even wanting to write on any of the half dozen or so blog topics that always seem to be circulating in my mind. This moment is one of those times. I can think of nothing that I would like to do other than go to bed. Where I able to go to bed right now I don't believe that I would, but since I cannot, it is still an attractive option.

If I were at home right now, or even just if I had the book with me I would read more in Gospel Principles. Reading at least one section each night has become part of my nightly routine. While I will admit that I'm not always totally gung-ho and excited in the moment, I am very much enjoying learning more about the LDS church and how I may or may not fit into the community. I'm still not sure if this is something that will be a lasting change or more of a phase of self-discovery.

It's very difficult to me that some of the people I'd always considered to be my closest friends are not people who would welcome discussion of this new aspect of my life, but this frustration has spurred me to turn to others for their input. Friends who may or may not have been considered close in the past, but whatever level was previously held, we've fallen out of contact. I'm really glad that I've turned to these friends again (or for the first time for some). I've not only found the support I was hoping for (and so much more) but I've also learned a whole lot about myself.

I've never been one to ask for help or admit to a weakness to anyone but those I trust completely, or a complete stranger, yet I've found it in me to ask these friends for their support. At times replies come later than I'd hoped (because my expectations are a bit too high) which does its own good for me in figuring things out on my own a bit before completely attaching to the wisdom of the email reply. I have yet to be disappointed by those I've turned to, for which I feel truly lucky. Each time I've heard back I know that my friend has written from their heart and their sharing gives me great comfort in my investigation of the church. The way that they are able to discuss the topic freely allows me to feel that I may be able to have that the same trust and clarity I see in their words. Until I am able to find that trust for myself, I take great comfort in seeing it in these people I'm able to call friends.

I will use my trust in them to bridge me over to a trust in Him.